Really mustn't blog after a whole bottle of Chianti

Maybe it is the impact of our post-San Marino, post Croker-disappointment-blues, maybe it is that we're all too busy salivating over which stamp duty reduction proposal suits our middle class wallets best? Either way, I've not seen too much in the way of blog commentary on the proposed constitutional amendment to enshrine children's rights in our constitution. Maybe we feel we've ventilated that old chestnut many months ago when we were frantically looking for a paedophile to lynch.

But I have no doubt that our attention will return to this subject. (I just hope we don't have a horrific child abuse case to decry.) So in the interests of better information makes for a better debate, I take the liberty of establishing a couple of matters of fact/opinion (The choice is yours).

1. Despite who else might have been so labelled by him, Michael McDowell is without doubt the greatest threat to the integrity of the Irish Republic.
2. When a commentator/politician declares that it is, after all, all about the children, it is fairly safe to say that they couldn't give a fiddler's f$%^ about our young people.
3. I'm determined to bring a proposal to the people means "I'm f$%#-ed if I know what the public wants"
4. This is a complex issue = "I definitely haven't a clue what the proposed amendment says or what it means"
5. We need a debate = "I'm f#$%-ed if I'm going to be the first to declare a position"
6. We need action now seems like an obvious exhortation. But by definition constitutions aren't meant to be meddled with, without careful thought.
7. 'A zone of absolute protection', my, now aren't we the most sophisticated race on earth?
8. "Honest mistake, m'lud" ; Since when did a 55 year old child rapist deserve such a defence?
9. Why do we think that it is okay for a 15 year old girl to be aggressively cross-examined by a multi-millionaire barrister to ascertain that perhaps she was asking to be raped?
10. Would it not be easier all round if we just castrated all Irish men since they have the method, means and motive to be rapists?

That should save a couple of pages of letters to the Editor of the Irish Times!

In a previous blog life, Omani and I considered the possibility of re-writing the constitution (I still think that this would make a brilliant blog exercise). I've refined my thoughts on the preamble which surely needs only to say.

'When we talk about cherishing all our people equally' we mean the following definition of 'our people' :-

• A person of any age, gender, marital status or country of birth

We don't care if the person is 5 years of 95 years ; if they are straight, gay or celibate ; if they are Irish-born or not ; if they are married, divorced or single. A person is a person is a person.

On a lighter note, I previously designed a new national flag. I'll have a quick word with John Waters and I'm sure we can have a new anthem knocked up in no time.

Paige

U guys are gr8! - Part II

What a difference a year makes! Or is it just an extra 23 garda trainees?

This time last year, blankpaige described herself as a virgin blogger until JL pointed out that she'd kinda lost her blog virginity. Delving proudly through the canon of work that is my back catalogue, I recalled my 'Operation Free For All' post. Posted below.

This evening, I had occasion to drive through Dublin's favourite traffic hotspots from the airport through to Blackrock at the height of rush hour. Several things struck me immediately. I sailed through the traffic. At every main intersection there was a fine young garda in a fluorescent tunic - each one looking cuter than the next. Somehow they'd more authority and confidence. As a consequence of this hi-vis policy, I saw no-one on their mobile phones whilst negotiating Gardiner St/Dorset St junction. No-one blocked the yellow boxes. No-one jumped the lights. I made the same journey that took 1 hour 50 min last year in 55 minutes tonight.

So might I just say, boys in blue. You guys rock! Credit were credit is due. Nice work.
Blankpaige

Operation Free For All

Before my wee rant, let me first welcome to Dublin the 140 boys and girls in blue (and fluorescent yellow) recently released from Templemore Garda Training College. I'm sure for many of them, being thrown in at the deep end must be a daunting experience. Being billeted around various junctions and intersections across Dublin is probably no-one's idea of fun. Add to this the icy temperatures recently and I, for one, wouldn't wish to be in their shoes. It must be totally scary for those lads and lassies who don't drive, have never driven and possibly who never want to drive, having to do point duty in our grid locked city as a million and one demon christmas shoppers converge on the capital.

That all said, I observed with some amusement last night, one young recruit's contribution to Operation Freeflow. Stationed at the Clare Street/Merrion Square junction, this baby-faced enforcer watched the traffic loop around Lincoln Place & Westland Row, and catch it's own tail at the aforementioned junction. This perfect vehicular circle forms whenever the traffic builds on Westland Row. The AA girls' code for this ("Traffic on Pearse is backed up to Macken Street"), is normally a blatant understatement and fails to deliver the futility of this regular event.

Garda Awestruck watched in wonder as 3 vehicles proceeded to park in the yellow box that is designed to stop this interminable loop the loop. Pedestrians had to cross between the stationary vehicles. Two of the three drivers had their mobile phones glued to their ears. In the moment's while I waited to cross this junction, I noticed these traffic code violations proceed without eliciting ever a modest raise of the cute Garda's eyebrow. When a space formed in the traffic queue, the first two drivers exited the box - breaking the red light and nearly knocking over 3 pedestrians - and 3 more cars illegally entered the yellow boxed area. One driver, incensed that Joe Public might cross "avec l'homme vert" rolled down his window and shouted a litany of curses at anyone who'd listen.

Through out all this, drivers in the 2 intersecting roads who were being impeded by this bad driving discipline sounded their horns long and hard - in a manner not heard since the last days of Radio Nova. And the cute wee boy in blue stood with a terrified look on his face wondering why his mother ever talked him into joining the 'Force!

We Irish love chaos and all the better if it is needlessly self perpetuated. We just don't get it and never will no matter how we pretend by naming the uncoordinated deployment of unsure or unskilled children after military sounding campaigns - Operation Freeflow indeed.

[First posted : 29 November 2005]