Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Showing Too Much Reserve?

I read with interest that the Garda Síochána have invited applications for membership of their reserve force. Varying reports indicate that 400 people applied in the first hours after advertising.

This set me thinking - a dangerous pursuit, you'll agree!

Who in their right mind would apply for a job that an employer does not want to fill, is being resisted by existing employees through a process of non-cooperation and which carries an indeterminate remuneration?

Also, there is some contradictory statements in the briefing notes such as that applicants must meet the same criteria as existing members of the force, yet they also have to be of good character, sound health and mind!

Also, people excluded from joining are members of the defence forces, prison service, people who serve summons, baliffs, practicing solicitors and barristers. (If you exclude this group it might be redundant to require applicants to be of sound mind, but I digress!)

It doesn't seem as if having served time in jail for a serious offence would bar you from joining the force. Perhaps this is okay, since most of those are either fully occupied with a career in crime or are taxi drivers, or both!

Worryingly, I also don't see any reference to the prohibition of people who sell narcotics or practice of paedophilia.

It seems that the main criterion is that you have to be a "good character". Now I'm as game for a laugh as the next woman, but do we want a reserve force that is moonlighting in the Comedy Club? I'd hate to be moved on from my casual loitering by a would-be Tommy Tiernan or Des Bishop. Anyway who is going to be bouncer on Copper-face Jacks?

It strikes me that a useful first approximation would be to exclude these first 400 applicants on the grounds that they are too enthusiastic (and hence likely to be too officious), such good characters that they'd demoralise the existing full time force or that they are The Monk or a former tribunal barrister that has made so much money that they no longer have to practice law.

Other questions remain. Does the reservist get free access to Neil Diamond concerts in Croke Park? What about those fluorescent cycling shorts? Do they come in all sizes? Do you have to have a country accent and pronounce the word “vehicle” as “Vee-hi-cul”? (i.e. why exclude the AA Roadwatch girls from the Reserve?) Does a gaelige-speaking weather forecaster from a Celebrity talent contest get to apply also?


Blogger Steven said...

You weren't in Copper-Faced-Jacks on Thursday the 10th of August were you?

It's only the 2nd time I've been out in Dublin in over 4 months but it would have been wierd if you were.

8:23 p.m., August 15, 2006  
Blogger Curly K said...

Good post Paige. I actually know someone who wants to apply and I'm afraid that nice guy and all that he is, if he gets accepted he'd revel in the bit of power. Did you hear the spoof on Today FM about the reserve, it's very funny.

11:24 a.m., August 16, 2006  
Blogger Paige A Harrison said...

Actually I am pleased to say that I wasn't in Coppers in or around the evening in question. I can completely account for my movements, would-be Garda reservist!

2:35 p.m., August 22, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home