Friday, February 10, 2006

Outcry Over Rampant Election Fraud


The Irish Blog Awards are an “undemocratic and fraudulent affront to civil liberty” according to some disgruntled Irish bloggers who are demanding the deployment of international monitors and a complete recount of all election ballots. The dramatic claims were made by several underground dissenters in exclusive interviews with the Blank Paige. Each dissenter was at pains to stress that their disgruntlement did not stem from their failure to be nominated although some acknowledge privately that they regret that they did not nominated themselves.

“On the face of it, Damien Mulley appears to have pulled off a regular, impartial and transparent poll, but this is merely a smokescreen to cover the distortion of the results by blog heavyweights such as Sigla Blog, Progressive Ireland and RedMum” claimed one unnamed source last night.

eLections have always been open to charges of cronyism, however with so much at stake in this ballot, commentators are arguing for the immediate deployment of United Nations or European Union election monitors to ensure that the results are fair and above reproach. Although previous blog awards have been held, this particular election is seen as a defining moment in the development of an Irish Blog O’Sphere constitution. Most observers believe that free and fair elections will reinforce the democratic mandate. However it is feared that dissident bloggers will increase their disruptive tactics in the run up to the election.

The ballot organiser, Mulley has been responsible for this “pathetic charade", another anonymous blogger revealed (under condition of anonymity). “There was this pretence of a nominations round however it’s obvious from the absence of big name bloggers like blankpaige and Rinceor, that all was not right with this ballot”. “There has been gross intimidation and serious obstruction of would-be e’lectorate with some voters finding “Unauthorised Access” and “Access Denied” messages when they went to cast their ballots. In a shocking development, one female blogger was forced to vote for Twenty Major in the category of ‘Most Gratuitous Use of the C-Word’ category.It’s obvious the way some guy called “Richard” who never blogs gets nominated but still tops the poll that something isn’t right.

The final round of voting procedure has also come under question. In this round, an anonymous committee of individuals cast the decisive vote in a procedure similar to that used by the US Electoral College system.

Paige


Of course all the above is total rubblish, but when a girl hits ‘blog block’ you have to take drastic action! Congratulations to all who have been nominated. I wish you all the best. I’ve been voting early and often so you should too!


12 Comments:

Anonymous Damien Mulley said...

I like :)

BTW, you're barred.

5:25 p.m., February 10, 2006  
Blogger Paige A Harrison said...

Glad you like it, D.

BTW, what are you a Bouncer?

http://blankpaiges.blogspot.com/2006/02/door-bouncers-floor-bunnies.html

5:34 p.m., February 10, 2006  
Blogger KnackeredKaz said...

Funny that Paige cos I ALSO had a number of anonymous bloggers contact me wanting me to write an expose in my newspaper about the Blog Awards!


THEY seemed to think that the absence of such notable blogs as say, Life's a Bastard, from the roll of honour was a travesty, perpetrated by..how did they put it...oh yes "a shower of bastards".

As far as I know the author of the above mentioned fantastic blog was going to nominate herself but then thought that perhaps some of her countless (well, three) fans might do it for her...but nooooooooooo.

I'll, er, I mean SHE'LL know better next time!

5:55 p.m., February 10, 2006  
Blogger Paige A Harrison said...

Kaz,
Damn it, if we had only gotten our act together, we could have all nominated each other!

10:56 p.m., February 10, 2006  
Blogger dunner said...

For the right payment, I will nominate anyone. Any takers????

2:52 a.m., February 11, 2006  
Blogger JL Pagano said...

Already a candidate for Post of the Year 2006....

7:40 a.m., February 11, 2006  
Anonymous Sinéad said...

Little ol' me a 'blog heavyweight'? Crikey!

Very funny post - this should definitely be included in the 'most humourous post' category.

2:55 p.m., February 11, 2006  
Anonymous Ambrand said...

All awards are a bit of fun, take it easy, if you win you win, if you lose you lose, this isin't the oscars, you don't get a trophy (not even a perpetual one) to put on your mantle piece (or trophy cabinet!), you can't mention it on your CV.

1:00 a.m., February 12, 2006  
Blogger Paige A Harrison said...

I really must work on my sense of humour. Here was me trying to be absurd cos I couldn't think of anything earth shattering to blog about. So in your one words, ambrand, "take it easy", it was only meant as a bit of harmless fun - and in the process raise some publicity for an excellent idea.

1:01 p.m., February 12, 2006  
Blogger KnackeredKaz said...

Gosh if I won a blogger award I'd TOTALLY put it on my CV! I'm a writer so the more accolades I get for my writing the better and even though it's not accredited or whatever, it's still recognition of the hits you get on your site and how popular you are with the public and other bloggers. I'd be chuffed to win, so I wouldn't dismiss it as just a bit of fun Ambrand, it IS something to be proud of.

And there's an awards ceremony, like an actual night out, so you'll have SOMETHING to put on your mantlepiece....well I think there is anyway, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

8:30 p.m., February 12, 2006  
Blogger Steven said...

How come I only just noticed that you said I was a big name blogger now?!?

Specsavers have told me I need a new eye test. I should really go.

Big name blogger... tee-hee-hee

10:54 a.m., February 13, 2006  
Blogger Red Mum said...

Heavyweight blogger, don't know whether to be flattered or join a slimming club!

:)

Oh and I have the nomination on my CV already!!!

:)

2:53 p.m., February 15, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home