Slippery Tongue

I was in Manchester for the weekend attending a friend's wedding. Bride wore black, if you must know. The general inability of the English to host a good party was as apparent as ever. Made all the more obvious because, it would seem, they lost a rugby match. The Scots who attended the wedding demonstrated their abilities to party remain undiminished. Probably for the same reason.

On the short flight back, the Easyjet air hostess brought a wry smile to the entire plane with her parting words. You know how airlines have started this policy of subliminal advertising. They have copped on to the fact that a large number of people who use airline transportation are captive in the aircraft while taxi-ing to the terminal building. They repeat some carefully choosen corporate announcement during their end-of-flight message.

Ryanair seem to be trying to replace "no frills" with "Europe's most punctual airline" as the corporate message of choice. Having added 15 minutes to the flying time between Dublin and most English cities, despite leaving 5 minutes late, they can (and do) still insist on announcing "Welcome to Dublin ; 10 minutes ahead of schedule with Europe's most punctual airline". Easyjet, seem to be working the "shortness" and "hastle-free" manner in which they get you to your destination. However, during the return flight from Manchester, the young attendant announced "...Everyone at Easyjet, Europe's hastle-free carrier, hope that you enjoyed your shite....(pause) ...(attendant goes very red). I presume that she was referring to the "short flight" and not passing comment on the English rugby performance!

While I'm on spoonerisms, I was at a funeral once where the priest, a dramatic North Yorkshire giant of a man, gave a moving graveside eulogy. I think he was trying to sum up the decease's place in society and that he was a role model for many. But the words "Shining light" came out as "Lying shite" and sort of ruined the moment.

Paige